Postcard from a broad

Ola, or however its written. I can find a ñ but not an a with an accent which I think it should have, but maybe not.

I´m in sunny Tenerife but today it´s a bit cloudy. Ooh, I´ve found a Ç. Cool.

What have we done so far? Sleep, drink, smoke cheap fags and go up to see the volcanoes and stars at night. Fabulous.

The stars are amazing that high up above cloud level, light polution etc and with a lovely, crazy Spanish astronomer to talk us through some of the constellations it was truly a night to remember.

We come home on the 5th, looking forward to a cool breeze and a light shower - ok, for an English summer that will probably be a freezing cold gale and a torrential downpour. Maybe I should just enjoy the weather hear at the moment.

Until then.......

Tempus is still fugit-ing

I can't believe how long it is since I last blogged, but then I can't believe what a dull old bugger I have turned into. The downside of not working is I have nothing much to tell you. (Which, in itself, speaks volumes.)

I went to visit my sister for her birthday (7/7) and then she came to visit me (this weekend.)

I bought some trailer-park-trash shoes in the sale.

I bought some new suitcases - half price. Bargain.

We have a three-legged cat that visits and eats all the cat food - but cos he only has 3 legs (and huge yellow eyes) we don't have the heart to tell him to fuck off.

I've tidied up one whole room. Yup, a WHOLE room.

How exciting is that? Err, not very.

However, I arranged a poker lesson for Theo on Sunday evening. Invited a friend, who is pretty keen (on poker,) to show us the ropes and decided to make an evening of it with a barbecue and Paul and my sister and stuff. Unfortunately Theo was poorly and missed it all. But I had a great time. Not sure about this 'check' thing at the moment, but I'm determined to get the hang of it.

Oh, I've just remembered, I made Jonathan buy a heavy duty barbecue trolley. It's quite lovely in a barbecue trolley kind of way and it shall take pride of place at our annual barbecue, quite close to the bouncy castle, which will be on 20th August.

Email me for directions.

Practically perfect in every way

A couple of weeks ago I had to have a special in-depth interview with the job centre because I'd been unemployed for so long (13 weeks - how come I don't get the chance to be long term unemployed for years and years and years?)

It was a waste of time like I knew it would be, they don't have any jobs I can do there at all. So this nice lady talked to me about wanting a boob job and sent me for some advice on writing my CV, cos I'm supposed to be making some effort to get back into employment (and what about those who been unemployed for years and years and years?)

'Take along some details of your employment history, qualifications - stuff like that' said nice-lady-who-wants-a-boob-job.

So, strangely enough, I took my CV.

Went for this appointment to see another nice lady about how to write a CV. We had a bit of a chat first and then she said 'Have you brought some details of your employment history, qualifications - stuff like that?'

So, strangely enough, I gave her my CV.

She looked at it, she laughed, she said 'Why are you here? You're CV is perfect (layout, not content I presume) can I keep this to show everyone how it should be done?'

So we chatted a bit more, it was a pleasant way to pass a rainy hour or so.

Anyway, I was in no rush cos I'm an unemployed scratter with a perfect CV.