Practically perfect in every way

A couple of weeks ago I had to have a special in-depth interview with the job centre because I'd been unemployed for so long (13 weeks - how come I don't get the chance to be long term unemployed for years and years and years?)

It was a waste of time like I knew it would be, they don't have any jobs I can do there at all. So this nice lady talked to me about wanting a boob job and sent me for some advice on writing my CV, cos I'm supposed to be making some effort to get back into employment (and what about those who been unemployed for years and years and years?)

'Take along some details of your employment history, qualifications - stuff like that' said nice-lady-who-wants-a-boob-job.

So, strangely enough, I took my CV.

Went for this appointment to see another nice lady about how to write a CV. We had a bit of a chat first and then she said 'Have you brought some details of your employment history, qualifications - stuff like that?'

So, strangely enough, I gave her my CV.

She looked at it, she laughed, she said 'Why are you here? You're CV is perfect (layout, not content I presume) can I keep this to show everyone how it should be done?'

So we chatted a bit more, it was a pleasant way to pass a rainy hour or so.

Anyway, I was in no rush cos I'm an unemployed scratter with a perfect CV.