Back to life, back to reality

Well my version of reality, anyway, which mostly seems to involve wandering around in a daze.

We have now returned from a lovely, un-seasonally hot holiday, in Majorca, and after 4 days back I am still trying to conquer the washing mountain. Unfortunately my kids can dirty clothes faster than I can wash. I was hoping to find a laundrette so I could put a couple of loads through while I was away, but there wasn't one to be found. The hotel had a laundry service but at 1 euro per pair of knickers (7 pairs x 4 people x 1 euro = bloody ridiculous - but then who'd want to go anywhere near my son's undies) not to mention the T-shirts and other bits and that would have equalled a laundry bill greater than the cost of the holiday, probably.

On asking around I found there was a laundry in the town who did stuff by weight, so off I went. The lovely lady in there was barking mad and, although her English was far superior to my Spanish (it's not that useful knowing how to ask for a beer or a coffee when you want one white and one coloured wash doing) she didn't seem to know many English words relating to washing clothes which seemd a bit odd. She told me to put cream on (very sweet of her) and asked if I liked to sleep (of course) and then stroked my arm. Half an hour later I emerged to find the kids and Jonathan scrapping in the car cos they can't be left to behave themselves for 2 minutes......

As the kids had started to refuse to get out of bed before midday, 2 days later Jonathan and I went on our own to collect the washing. I insisted he came in with me to see this delightfully nutty lady.

As we entered the shop she appeared folding a pair of Jonathan's pants which she unfolded again, held up in front of him and gave a dirty little laugh. She then asked if he was my son - FOR FUCK'S SAKE - he's OLDER than me! Looking at the horror on my face she went back to stroking me, telling me I had beautiful eyes (they're green) while, with a look of contempt, she said Jonathan only looked Spanish (his are brown.)

I forgave her.