News in brief

Another one bites the dust........ another minnow has died, there should be 2 left now, let me check - yes, there are 2. Amazing. Obviously the disappearing spell has worn off leaving the die-you-bastards spell.

I think over the course of the summer I have broken about 5 toes spread over all my feet (I have the standard issue of 2,) with my little toe on my left foot being the latest to suffer. Sick of this now and would like to move out of flip-flops and back into slutty shoes.

The bedroom action has almost come to an end. Our wardrobes are in situ, looking good, just all the crap to put away and a bit of gloss painting to do. Hmmm, these last bits never happen in our house so I predict Dec 2008 as the completion date at the very earliest.

As part of putting stuff in my new drawers I have decided to audition my bras. I have been in search of that elusive perfect bra for years - because of this I have 317 bras, most of which cripple me. From now a bra has to pass the 'comfortable for a day' test before being promoted to a bit of new drawer space.

I got stung by a wasp yesterday. I was hanging out the washing and as I reached up I must have squashed it between my nightshirt and my shoulder and it stung me. Ouch. So I ripped off the nightshirt and was running round the garden in my knickers and all Jonathan cared about was the neighbours seeing my tits. But they've seen them before.....

I went to the Lake District on Monday to visit my sister (and avoid the wardrobe fitting) who is pregnant and in the process of moving. They have sold her house, and his house and are moving into a different house. She's a bit of a stress-head at the best of times but she's struggling with this one. So I brought her dog back home with me. Barking - yes I must be!

Only 68 1/2 hours to go before one of the kids goes back to school, followed by the other 24 hours later. Why do the days - and I don't just mean the daylight hours - during the school holidays seem to be the longest days in the year? Still haven't labelled any uniform, thank heavens for laundry markers.