So this is Christmas?

Tree's up, cards are written, presents are wrapped.

Roll on 26th when it will all be over.

It's not just me that's a miserable old scrooge, even the kids aren't that festive, they want to know what they've got, admittedly, but have no interest in any other part of Christmas. As a nod to something traditional I have bought 2 x 6 packs of mince pies, but we have no cake, no pudding, no turkey. And I am quite happy with that.

To make up for eveyone else's lack of enthusiasm I have been taking part in plenty of Christmas good cheer in the form of lots of alcohol. All that practice over the last few months has stood me in good stead and it takes quite a lot of large vodkas to make me feel even a little bit tipsy. But I've found a solution......

Last night was our works Christmas do. We were 'first sitting' and the meal was at 6.30 which seemed a bit too early for my liking, however I was planning an early escape to join Mad Jane and Lynda Big-Lungs in Otley so that worked out quite well. Apparently we had a 'gold' package which meant drinks were included.

I had 2 large vodkas while we were in the bar waiting for everyone to assemble. Then there was half a bottle of wine per person and, unusually for me, I opted for the red (cos I can't stand Chardonnay.) With pudding there was a choice of 'shot' and I had Tia Maria, and then there was a bottle of alcopop to 'take through to the club' which I had to drink pretty quickly cos I was dashing off for the bus (yes, that wasn't a typo, I said bus.)

Mixing all these different drinks certainly had an effect that isn't easy to achieve with vodka alone and the bus (yes, bus) journey in all that awful wind was, erm, entertaining.

Seriously considering catching the bus another time. For the bargain price of £2.70 I had a one hour journey into Leeds and a 40 minute journey back to Otley. I got winked at twice (by the same boy) going and had the pleasure of sitting behind a girl that smelled of damp canvas on the way back.

The driver on my outward journey was either a) very kind or b) thought I was some sort of half-wit cos when I asked where the bus stopped, if they did a return ticket and did he mind if I paid with a £5 note he was sweetness personnified and spoke to me slowly, clearly and quite loudly.

Or maybe I really do look my age.