39 plus vat

So very VERY boring, married (need rescuing by knight in shining armour with huge bank balance and tricky ticker) old woman with 2 kids (Theo aged 16 and Ysabella aged 13) and a barking mad, very OLD, husband - no improvement there. Collection of cats, dead gerbils and absolutely no goldfish whatsoever. Ask me anything else you want to know, and I might tell you.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Surprise drive

On Sunday morning a very bonny young Irish man followed Jonathan home and asked if he wanted any block paving doing. As it happened we did.

He spoke very quickly and quietly and said he'd come back later in the week. He reappeared about 20 minutes later and said something else quickly and quietly and finished off with '.......so can I leave them here then?'

We thought he meant some tools and said that would be fine. Bugger me, but within about 10 seconds he walked up and down our patio wielding a sledge hammer and proceeded to smash the patio to bits, then disappeared.

Then we heard these noises and looked outside and there were these 2 young blokes doing things to bits of broken paving slab. Ah, so it wasn't tools he wanted to leave, it was men.

These 2, and assorted others, worked their bollocks off in the heat and now we have a new, unexpected, patio and drive. It looks pretty good - at the moment. And of course another bloke said they'd had to spend more on materials than they first thought and could they have some more money (err, NO.)

As I want to remain blissfully ignorant I do NOT want to hear any disasterous tales related to unsolicited block pavers, builders or anything else.

Thank you.

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Friday, June 24, 2005

Sheer genius

Today I went for 'educational guidance' and I'm not quite sure whether I have expressed an interest in doing Business Studies or not.

Apparently 'Someone called Chris' will ring me within 3 weeks about something to do with credits and portfolios and counting towards my (?!?!?!?) degree. How did that happen?

It's all Jonathan's fault. He has been offered, and accepted, a place doing this bloody BA (Hons - don't forget that bit) Business Studies and, err, I simply don't like the idea of him getting one over on me when I know he's thick and I'm brilliant. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

And that's how I ended up there today.....

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

When push come to shove.....

...I can manage an alcohol free day, in fact I've managed 3 so far.

I think I should keep off the drink until all my booze bruises and UDI's have healed......but I will allow myself a glass of wine even if the ring and bracelet I managed to break when I fell haven't yet been repaired, after all that can take weeks.

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Friday, June 10, 2005

He's a very naughty boy

I know it's self-inflicted, and I know at my age (39 plus postage and packing) that I really should know better but, apparently I don't.

Yesterday (as in Wednesday) I had the worst hangover I have ever, ever, EVER had. My eyeballs hurt. I didn't even feel well enough to feel sick. It was awful. It took me until about 11.30 P-bloody-M to feel able to talk.

I was invited out for a very nice evening. Meeting at A and M's 'office' for a glass of wine, and then for a lovely dinner with lovely people. Very civilised, very pleasant, very grown up.

That all went pretty well. Then we went to a bar for a nice bottle of wine or two. So far, so good.

And then................................

some nutter suggested Mojos. A cocktail bar. BIG BIG BIG mistake.

After a few there...................

some nutter suggested Oporto. Another cocktail bar. For fucks sake!

Now I only know this sequence of events cos I had to ask Mel, who could remember, for some bizarre reason (but then she's a lot younger than me) but the one thing I can remember is that the taxi driver for some reason (pity? sympathy? desperation to get rid of me?) didn't want paying - and it's normally £20-25. I insisted and he took £15. How sweet is that! I reckon it was the marital advice I insisted on giving him for the full 15 miles home.

I was telling Debbie all about my shame at getting into that state and she asked when was the last time I had been in so bad.

Hmmm, spookily enough, last time I went to Mojos with A. Leading me astray, making me drink those nasty cocktails.

He's a very naughty boy.

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Monday, June 06, 2005

Well done

Elspeth (http://www.elspeth-in-wonderland.blogspot.com/) on the safe arrival of Abi.

Hurry up Tilly (//http://tillymynt.blogspot.com/)

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Chip off the old block

Tomorrow Ysabella is off school for a teacher training day (what a con - expect teachers to be trained before they're let loose teaching.)

She wants to go to York so I said I would go if (she tidied her bedroom and) we left home no later than 10.00.

'Oh god, I'll have to be up at the crap of dawn then.'

I know exactly how she feels.

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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Growing pains

I bought Theo his first razor today. I cried.

When we got home he couldn't wait and had his first shave. I was so upset I took to my bed for 2 hours.

He may be taller than me, he may weigh more than me, but, at 13 years, 4 months and 2 days, I still like to think he's my baby.

I hate everything about this growing up.

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