39 plus vat

So very VERY boring, married (need rescuing by knight in shining armour with huge bank balance and tricky ticker) old woman with 2 kids (Theo aged 16 and Ysabella aged 13) and a barking mad, very OLD, husband - no improvement there. Collection of cats, dead gerbils and absolutely no goldfish whatsoever. Ask me anything else you want to know, and I might tell you.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Serves me right

Yesterday Ysabella was getting on my tits. She gets on my tits most days, but she was excelling herself yesterday.

Jonathan and I were trying to have some lunch in a civilised manner, sat at the table, and she was nag, nag, nagging about wanting this, that and the other NOW.

We said we would do it/get it/make it as soon as we had finished - in about 5-10 minutes - but still she nagged. So I leapt up in temper to get this particular bloody cup she wanted that she couldn't reach because she couldn't possibly use one of the 15 plus that she COULD reach.

And I banged my toe.

And I'm sure its broken.

It's gone all fat and purple and painful and today the bruise is creeping up my foot. Jonathan wouldn't take me to hospital, well they probably wouldn't do much anyway (his reasoning.)

In my pain I did something really nasty, I smashed the thin plastic cup over her head.

I'm horrible.

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Friday, May 20, 2005

Smells a bit funny

But it is here, and it appears to be in one piece. Jonathan nearly killed himself lifting the 84kgs of the top bit on to the bottom bit while I stood there looking stupid.

Don't tell Jonathan, but I think it looks a bit odd

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Monday, May 16, 2005

I tried, but I failed

I have tried to blog recently, I really have. Typed loads of boring crap in, clicked to post it, and then nothing happened.

I've told you about my cupboardy thing still not arriving, but getting £80.00 of Next vouchers (now due 20th May - not holding my breath.)

I've told you about going to see about having a tummy tuck (booked in for 15th September - my mum's crapping herself already.)

I've told you all about the delicious wines I've been trying (mostly Marlborough Sauvignon Blancs - but the odd rose thrown in.)

And I've told you about my absolutely beautiful new boots (weird pinky pretend snakeskin - and oh so lovely.)

And what was the point? Well, none, apparently.

So what shall I tell you now that may, or may not, disappear?

Well, I got drunk (what a surprise) on Saturday night and ended up bringing the landlady's dog (well, bitch) home with me. Hmmm. She knew about it (the landlady) and she seemed more than happy to come with me (the bitch) but when I returned her the next afternoon the bar manager asked me where the other dog was. This freaked me out a bit because I knew I had been drunk but could really only remember taking one with me. Anyway the other dog turned up with the landlady a few hours later. Please don't ask why I took her home with me in the first place.

I am still enjoying not working, but reckon another few weeks and I'll be bored stiff, so if anyone has a fabulous job for me, do please let me know. As you can see, I really do now need to get a life again.

Oh, and I'm still eating that bloody cheese.

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Monday, May 02, 2005

Big mistake

You may, or may not, remember that Jonathan redecorated the living room. Well, as part of the redecoration process we got some new furniture.

I ordered two pieces from Next. I didn't order them at the same time and the first thing arrived as promised. I was pleased with it so ordered the larger, more expensive piece.

They rang me with a delivery date, 21st April.

On the 20th April, I nagged Jonathan into moving stuff to make room for this large item.

On 21st April they rang me to say they would ring back within 72 hours to re-arrange a delivery date ...... oh, and they were sorry.

On the 23rd April they rang to say they would deliver on 2nd May.

I rang on 28th to ask whether it would be morning or afternoon, seeing as it was Bank Holiday Monday and we possibly would have liked to do a family thing (?!!???!!?) They said afternoon, after 1.00pm.

On 1st May, I nagged Jonathan into moving stuff to make room for this large item. Again.

On 2nd May (today) it was Ilkley Carnival - the highlight of the year for family fun (eh?) So Jonathan had to take Ysabella while I stayed in and waited for this bloody thing to arrive. I waited, and waited, and then I waited a few hours more. At 7.00pm I tried to ring them to see what was happening. They were shut.

Tomorrow morning I shall be up early. I shall ring them up. I shall shout a lot. I shall have a tantrum.

And if it wasn't for the fact that we already have one piece of this range of furniture I would tell them to stuff it up their arses even if it is 150cm wide and 200cm high!

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