Vacant position

Wanted, translator.

Must be able to translate grunts coming from 14 year old son in the vain hope that I may have some idea about what he wants/needs or whether he is expressing some worthy opinion (yeah, as if!!)

It's a bad BAD day

now that Burley in Wharfedale has a bar that sells decent wine.

That'll be why me student grant disappears so goddamn quickly this next week (or two if I'm really lucky.)

So please call in at The Queens Head and say Kimberly sent you.

Great balls of melon

Home again. Bummer. Mind you at least the weather has been very pleasant so far......while I've been working my way through the 9 washer-loads I've had to do. Hello! We were only away a week, and Theo only changed his undies twice, so where did all the clothes come from?

We had a very nice time in Sorrento. The hotel was very nice (Grand Hotel Aminta) and the staff were absolutely lovely, but it probably wasn't the best place to go with an 11 and 14 year old. They didn't have anything to do in the hotel and it was a (courtesy) bus ride out of town. With it being so early in the year the pool was freezing cold too, so they didn't do much swimming - shivering yes, swimming, no. Also I thought the menus in the hotel were a bit limited and too sophisticated for the kids. Chicken with melon? Not unpleasant at all but hot melon balls are not something I ever expected to eat.

Having said that, the weather was superb, 27C most days, so can't complain at that. Spent a fair amount of time sat in the bars on the square but did go to Pompeii. Isn't it BIG? And Positano - very pretty, but thank you God for the bus back up the hill. Yes, I definitely want to go to Italy again.

We did get caught out in the cigarette department. You can't buy them in the airport any more unless you're travelling outside the EC. Apparently it's a fairly recent thing. There were several quite upset people on the plane home.

So, all you filthy dirty smokers, remember to stock up in your resort...........

Any volunteers?

I'm off to Italy next Friday for a week. Quite excited. Only ever been to Italy once before on a day trip to Venice.

But there will be a dark cloud on the horizon in the form of a report I have to write for May. I have 3 exams in May - don't mind exams at all, but really, really don't want to do this stupid report. Is there anyone would like to do it for me? I'm sure if it was an original piece of work it wouldn't be plaigarism, I'd just be sub-contracting.

I'm still not smoking, coming up for 8 months now. And how much bloody weight have I put on? Jonathan has piled weight on too. The doctors (3 different ones) have said its only to be expected cos your metabolism slows down but it will probably go again in 18 months or so. I truly don't think we are eating any more but we are drinking a hell of a lot more.

Too early for a sweet sherry?