14.32 to Ilkley

On Wednesday I went into Leeds for my hair 'doing.' I caught the 14.32 to Ilkley back home.

It wasn't a packed train, like they are at rush hour, but it is a well used line and there were a fair few people on it. I sat in a 2-seater slot, and over the aisle was a 6-seater slot which already had a lady sat in the window seat.

This young girl got on. She caught my attention firstly because I thought she was topless - but it was just a low-slung boob tube. She was very, very thin - bones sticking out and everything She was wearing this boob tube, a tiny pair of shorts and some flip-flops. She sat diagonally opposite the Window Seat Lady so she was physically closest to me.

Very Thin Girl got out a bottle of suntan lotion and very, very slowly, after kicking off her flip-flops, started to rub suntan lotion into her lower legs and feet. When she'd done this she shuffled forward in her seat and did her thighs. she put a lot of effort into shoving the lotion as far up the shorts (and they were very short) as she could. By now WSL and I couldn't believe our eyes. Then she did her top half. Arms, shoulders, back. Then down her boob tube, then up her boob tube. By now I couldn't stop staring. It didn't really matter cos VTG was so engrossed in greasing herself up that she didn't notice anyone. Then she did her face.

It was WSL's station and she got up and gave me a bemused look.

Then VTG dipped in her bag and came out with a silver foil wrapped packet that had 2 or 3 dry crackers which she broke bits off and ate very slowly. Yuk - dry crackers with a slight smearing of suntan lotion?!?!?

But when I got off at my station I noticed that she hadn't rubbed it in properly and had big patches of white cream all over her. Especially her left ear which was dripping with the stuff.

Odd, very odd.

Rubbing salt in the wound

Well I eventually managed to get an invoice for the bits for the mobile phone (that I no longer have, but had already bought) so that I could send in the claim for our break-in.

The claim was for £701 for the door locking mechanism repairing and £44 for these two phone bits.

The insurance company rang me up. "We're sorry," they said (acutally I didn't believe this) "but there's a £500 limit on door locks so we will only be send you a cheque for £445."

Of course they take the fucking £100 excess off the £500 limit. So I'm £300 poorer for being robbed and having massively comprehensive all singing, all-dancing, and apparently non-paying-out insurance. What's the pissing point?

And the cheque still hasn't arrived and this is a week+ later. Bastards bastards BASTARDS.

MORE THAN - my arse!

I 'whooped' that ass

Today we got our results.

We have both passed our first year - hurray!

But......... I whooped his goddamned ass good and proper - oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

Not that I like to brag or anything............

Twat ------> Wanker

Whilst Zed's boyfriend is a merely twat (http://users.pandora.be/quarsan/zoe/index.html) I married a complete WANKER.

Had enough, need to get rid, what category should I list him under eBay?

Cheese and whine

There's an ad on TV at the moment about insurance companies, and your insurance being OK until you want to make a claim. How bloody true! But it's not just the insurance companies - the whole world conspires against making a claim.

Now whilst I have known this for some time, I have been reminded of it due to our latest burglary. What a load of phaffing/faffing/faphing (how does one spell that word?) around.

I noticed, a day later, that something had actually been stolen - an almost empty mobile phone box. In the box was the headset, an SD tiny memory stick adapter (but not the memory stick) and a CD with software on to load up iTunes to the phone, and the USB cable.

Now, I had upgraded to this bloody phone and received it on the 17th June, we were robbed on the 20/21st June. Meanwhile I had decided this phone was a bag of crap. It wouldn't hold any signal, I couldn't ring or text out and nobody could ring or text in. Whilst this could have saved a lot of money in phone bills, it did kind of negate the reason I have a mobile phone - ie my kids (and a whole host of related and friendly nutters) can contact me at any time.

I noticed the box missing as I went to try to parcel the phone up to return it (within the 14 days of receiving it) and getting a totally different model. No 'original packaging' so nothing to return phone in. No 'CD software' or 'USB cable' so nothing to load iTunes to the phone with. And no pigging headset to listen to the toons that I couldn't even get on the phone. So I couldn't even use the stupid bollocksy bastard thing as a glorified music machine.

I went to the O2 shop out of frustration. I was served by a very lovely sweet girl called Jess (in the O2 shop in Leeds) and she was so helpful. Anyway she said it was duff and to send it back and they would send me back a new handset. So I did. She also gave me a new manual, headset and software CD for free cos she's so very lovely.

Then I spent ages tracking down the final bits of the phone kit so that eventually I would be able to use it properly.

Well I had kept my insuarance company informed. I had told them the bits I need to buy for the phone were about £55 + vat, but with the free bits I got that ended up being reduced to around £40 + vat (cos I had to buy the CD to get the USB cable - or some other skank.)

By now I am around £750 out of pocket and losing the will to live. But I can't put my claim in until I have the invoice for the phone parts.

On Saturday I found these phone parts near the front door (which we don't use very often,) and the postie had obviously never bothered to knock cos there had been someone in for days. I ripped the parcel open for the invoice. There is none. Hello??? Aparently it will follow. But when? Grrrrrrr.

Then today I rang O2 to check that they had received the phone. Yes - ages ago. Had they sent me a new one. No - did I want one? Yes for-fuckety-fucks-sake please!

Did I want another Motorola V3 i? Did I have a choice? Well yes I did, so opted for a boring old Nokia again. Oooooh can't have that cos I've just upgraded to a Motorola V3 i. No, NO, NO. Give me a break.

Anyways, I am now getting a new Nokia 6131 for free (not for £90 like they tried to make me pay) and it should be here tomorrow. I have forked out £40 + vat for some Motorola bits that I can't use and can't claim for.

I'm really, really cheesed off at the moment so am going to have some wine.