Happy birthday Theo

He's 15. He's still a pain in the arse. But I love him, custard spots and all. I juts hope he'll start to grow up as much as he's growing upwards.

In a comment on my last post Zed said something along the lines of being adopted by the beau monde (ok, my description for them) of Bruxelles. Wierd that, innit? I wonder why. Don't think any of them have actually been born in Belgium though.

I know, it's cos I'm lovely. It's that simple.

Back at uni this week. I have a taxing 9.5 hours that I'm required to be there. Don't know how I'll manage that. Hell, I even have to go in on a Monday for 2.00 pm. Tragedy.........

Don't think for one minute I'll be filling my time with any domestic chores. Not about to change the habits of a lifetime. Actually that's not true, it's the habits of the last 18 years and 6 months, give or take a day or 2.

Where shall I go for a holiday at Easter? Not much criteria as to what I want. Oh, apart from cheap fags.

And lovely handbags.

Happy birthday Auntie Mo

Well, today I went to the Flying Pizza, in Leeds, for my Auntie Mo's birthday. There was me and my 2 cousins, Jo and Mandy, and Auntie Mo's sister, Sheila and their cousin, Kath.

I was late getting there. As usual. Now it's hardly ever my fault being late, 'something' always happens. Today I got in the car at 11.50 to meet them 12 miles away on a route that involves pretty good roads and a couple of country lanes. It normally takes me 20-25 minutes.

I got in the car, I turned on the engine and reversed out of the drive. My phone rang. I stopped to answer it. It was Theo threatening to walk out of school because his friends had gone down town and left him and he was alone and freezing and hated school et cetera et cetera. So I pleaded with him to stay at school seeing as it's the only day he actually has to be there this week, he hung up. I rang Jonathan who was at home (I'm still at the end of our drive) and asked him to ring Theo and sort it out. After a bit of a screaming match, Jonathan said he would. So I set off again.

Ooooh, I got about 50 yards down the road and the phone rang again. It was Jonathan - I could still see our bloody house - saying that Theo was just ranting and had hung up on him. I told Jonathan to deal with it. (Now I usually deal with this sort of stuff, but I had to be somewhere so had to leave it in Jonathan's 'capable' hands.) Set off again. Theo rang. Set off again. Jonathan rang. I rang Theo. Theo rang back. I rang Jonathan. And then set off again.

I have a trip computer on my car. It had taken me 20 minutes and I hadn't even managed one bloody mile - and I was on my third fag.

Eventually got to the Flying Pizza only half an hour late thanks to driving like a turbo nutter bastard - after a few more calls and text messages. Walked through the door and yet another bloody phone call from Jonathan. Christ, how would he managed if I dropped dead? Given the amount of cigs I had smoked on the journey, 7 (I knew I'd smoked a lot so I counted how many) and the texting and phone calls while trying to drive/stop/start, it isn't going to be that far in the future.

And then I joined the birthday 'party' and it made me laugh - a lot. There was me, and my 2 slightly younger cousins. My auntie (looking fab for 70 in her super-trendy Belstaff boots á la Kate Moss), her slightly younger sister, and their cousin of a similar age. I love my auntie very much - and she loves me very much too. But I always feel like a little girl when I'm with her. So it really tickled me when I arrived later than the rest and had a second to observe, as an outsider, that we were in fact a bunch of middle aged to elderly ladies having lunch. And yet, all through our great lunchtime, we behaved like tittering teenage girls.

Our bodies may have shrivelled but our spirit remains.

Phew, what a relief

Well that's the first semester over for year 2. Assignments in and exams done. Mind you, I reckon I did so badly in the exam yesterday that I told Jonathan if I passed I would.....well I told Jonathan I would do something that doesn't happen very often when you've been married for 25 years. I think he might be considering bribing the markers.

Anyway, all that crap out of the way and next week it's 'reading week'. So I've stocked up on a couple of crappy books and this weeks Grazia magazine - that'll do for the 'reading' bit. As well as all sorts of 'personal hygiene' tasks I'd planned to catch up on, Jonathan and I intended to go shopping in Leeds on Monday, I've arranged to meet my auntie for lunch on Tuesday at the Flying Pizza to celebrate her 70th birthday, got to pop to uni for an hour on Wednesday for timetabling, and then Thursday and Friday going up towards the Lake District to stay at my sister's to play with my lovely new nephew.

And then what happened yesterday? The wind blew a few bits off the kids school and they've been sent home - for over a week! Well Theo's year has to go in Tuesday for one day, and Ysabella on Friday for one day.

Bloody typical. And 'they' reckon it's going to snow. That's my chilling week totally buggered up. It'll end up costing me a fortune, I know it will, with the kids want a couple of quid, here, there, everywhere and being bored and arguing.

And my legs will still be hairy.

One down, two to go

Had an exam today, macroeconomics - thrilling. Probably did really badly, but, ho hum - ask me if I care. As long as I get at least 60% I'll be satisfied.

Worst bit is, Jonathan has done better than me and that is a bit of a pisser, but I'm secure enough in the knowledge that I'm far superior to him to willingly admit that (this time) he has.

But then he is planning on working when/if we graduate. And I'm not.

I'm planning on being a totally lazy cow, and if I get bored one day, I will clean the kitchen cupboards out cos, according to my mum, you need to do it about once a year (or more) and I've never done it.

I use plates, bowls, mugs - I don't put my dinner inside the cupboard and eat it from there, so what's a bit of dust between friends?

Anyway, the cupboards that have the tinned stuff and 'dry goods' always make for a bit of fun when I find stuff that's about 8 years out-of-date, so I'd loose that if I cleaned them out regularly. Did you know that tins of artichoke hearts seem to always leak when left 5 or more years?

Anyway when we had the Christmas pudding in early December the sell by date was somewhere around 2000 and the satchet of instant custard was about 3 years out-of-date and it all tasted fine to me.

Believe it or not I wasn't always such a household slut.

So, a 3000 word assignment to hand in on Friday - must find 2000 words somewhere in the next 2 days. And then an exam next week.

Great.

He's here

Charlotte eventually decided to have her baby - 14 days late! Ended up being a sunroof jobby so he's not all squished up. I'm an auntie at last, hurray.

I haven't seen him in the flesh but I've seen photos and he's gorgeous. Can't wait to get up there and see him but it won't be until next weekend. Bugger.

Welcome to the world Caspar James.

Happy New Year

Unfortuantely (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint) don't have a lot more to say on the subject.

I don't make resolutions, as I once announced pissed on the telly, when collared in the street by a man with a big fluffy microphone, having just had a boozy lunch with my Pauls.

I've been very boring and lazy this Christmas and, apart from getting arsy with Jonathan and the kids, I have done very little.

We have had no visitors and we haven't been to visit anyone - bliss. Ok, so we've had the odd trip down the pub, but I have actually been out less than usual.

We did go to a wedding on the 29th, many congratualtions to Bev and John. We hope you will be very happy - actually, we're pretty sure you will be.

My sister still hasn't dropped her sprog, so I'm totally sick of waiting now - beginning to lose interest in fact, let's just hope she isn't.

Theo won't get his finger out and do his course work for his GCSEs, one bit should have been in in October and the little shit still hasn't done it.

I had an epiphany and have decided to do my assignment on the rise of the car industry in Eastern Europe.

Bet you're all jealous now.