Happy birthday to Jonathan

50

It's fookin hilarious!

My mum has a weird thing

....she cuts articles out of newspapers which she feels are relevant to me and my sisters. She has handbags full of the bloody things.

Usually she gets it so wrong, doling out totally irrelevant articles of no interest to anyone, but just occasionally she gets it right.

At the moment I'm very concerned that in the very, very near future I will have to sleep with a very old man.

This is the problem with our wedding anniversay being so close to Jonathan's birthday. They're only 7 days apart so there isn't a decent interval for me to celebrate one and then find and run off with a young man, before the other.

At our 'do' on Sunday my mum gave me another of her ubiquitous newspaper cuttings which I found earlier today.

It was from the Daily Mail and written by one of their regular writers, Jill Parkin, who just happened to be in my class at school. I could say how mean she was to me on my first day, but I won't.

Anyway this article was basically about being married to an older man. And her husband is 15 years older than her. He's bloody 63. Oh. My. God.

So I shall hold this thought when I get into bed a week on Sunday that when I wake up my 'old' man will still be a relatively young buck at 50.

Bit of a 'do'

We had our do yesterday, and very nice it was too.

We got presents, which I wasn't expecting. I got drunk, which I was expecting.

We were there for 7 hours and the time just flew by. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, which is a good thing. Even Theo a) turned up (although he did wear a shirt he'd dug out of the dirty washing basket), and b) behaved and everyone said he was polite and charming ( so everyone else was drunk too?) And Ysabella managed to look trendy rather than like some cheap eastern European hooker, which is unusual for her.

So I'd like to say a big thank you to John and Henny from the Queens Head in Burley in Wharfedale for making it a huge success and dishing up a rather nice meal.

Cheers m'dears x x

I don't believe it.

It's over a week since I blogged, but this is because October is a very busy month for me, especially this year.

First we have weddings........my cousin got married in 3rd in Sorrento, but her 'do' is back here on the 21st. Many congratualtions Justine and Alex, I hope you'll be very, very happy.

Next my sister gets married. About time too as she's up the duff! Charlotte and Stuart are getting married on the 28th, but don't tell my mum cos no-one else knows. Again, many congratulations, and lots of love to you both. But please, please, please re-think calling your little innocent baby Victor. For fuck's sake!

Then some friends' daughter gets married on the 28th too. We have been invited to the evening reception but can't make it cos we'll be away. Nevertheless, congratulations Charlotte and Rob.

But the wedding we will be most interested in happened 25 years ago, on the 23rd October 1981.

Yes, that was us and we'll be celebrating (?) our Silver Wedding anniversary this month. Help!! I'm sure I didn't do anything to deserve this. I must have been real bad in a previous life. Oh well, seeing as there isn't much else out there to choose from I think I'll keep Jonathan another month or so.

So tomorrow we're having a bit of a 'do' to celebrate. Quite looking forward to it actually. Auntie Mo will probably get drunk and my mum will curl her lip a lot.

Then there are the birthdays.........

Andrea the Viking on the 11th
Jill the Sister-in-Law on the 28th
Marc the Well-Hung on the 29th

and then....

it's Jonathan's....

on the 30th....

and he will be 50.

Ha ha ha!!!!

Fine dining

To satisfy my sophisticated palate, for dinner I have had cold, white toast with lurpak and marmite and an orange fresh Solero.

Yum yum.

From bad to worse

I think we've established I hate being ill but I've found something worse.........

....when the bloke you live with is ill.

Grrrrrrr.

I'm still snotty

What's that all about?

First I was all flu-y and now I'm switching between bunged up and awash with snot. I hate being ill. It's even beginning to impinge on my drinking now.

And that is bang out of order.