Eeeek

I did a big post on Sunday - where's it gone??

Awww bless

Went out tonight with Karin, Had a lovely - but weird - time.

Phoned Jonathan to pick me up and when I got in the car he said 'I think you should ease up on that diet, you're getting too thin'

I weigh 13.5 stone. Love is most definitely blind.

Working girl

I'm not a morning person, my eyes don't even start to focus until about 5 past 12, but, based on the fact that Theo and Jonathan said my new skirt looked really nice, I decided to wear it today.

Hmmmm, definitely too short. Went out for a fag and got stared at quite a bit. One bloke walked past 3 times looking me up and down.

Maybe they just found it amusing. Or maybe I could make some extra cash for Christmas?

Better than nothing

Well I did M&S today, and it really does seem as though some law has been passed forbidding the sale of nice black skirts.

But then, when I'd given up all hope, I cut through the Next clearance shop and, bugger me sideways, I found several. I selected two in vastly different length. Modelled them for Jonathan and Theo when I got home. They hated the longer one but both liked the short pleated one that barely covers my arse.

So, the sad old bugger poncing round Leeds in a far too short skirt will be me.

Keeping my hand in

I don't feel I've got anything exciting to blog about at the moment - not that I ever do, but my mind just isn't working very well.

I've done a bit of half-hearted Christmas shopping, but I really can't be arsed. My mum told me what she wanted for Christmas then decided it was too expensive, but I was just so grateful to have some idea I have insisted we will get it for her. Just everyone else to worry about then......

Then, to make things really difficult for me, it was my friend's 40th birthday yesterday so I had to get her a gift. As if I didn't have enough present buying on my plate at this time of year.

We've spent 5 days working on a letter to our solicitor. We're arguing that much about it you would almost think we're on different sides.

We went out with some friends for a Mexican the other night, I drank rather too many (tequila based, begins with an M, but no idea how to spell it) cocktails, felt great that night but rather thick-headed the next day

Jonathan has now decided that Theo shouldn't get anything for Christmas because of all the money the solicitor is going to cost. I say he's a 12 year old kid who can't see the relationship between the two things, he says he should know better.

I'm all for people taking responsibility for their actions (and it would be really nice if my old man did just that too) but I really don't think Theo will make the connection between large legal bill and no Christmas present for him. Yes he should do as we tell him, but he is punished for that there and then. Or am I just too soft on him?

Oh, I'm all confused and rambling.

The prodigal has returned

Theo has been away on a school trip to London, staying in a Youth Hostel.

Sorting out what clothes he was going to wear, buying bits and pieces for him to take and getting him as organised as much as you can ever organise a 12 year old took forever. Jonathan took him to school because I knew I'd cry and embarrass him (and it was 4.45 AM!!!!)

Well, it was awful, I missed him so much. I always do when either of the kids are away. I hate to see their beds empty when my babies should be safely tucked up in them. I sent him so many text messages, but I did manage to resist ringing him up. Why do they get on your tits when they're around, but there's an eerie emptiness when they're not there? Now he's back - hurray. It was sooooo good to see him, I swear he has grown another 2 inches.

He presented me with the three, yes THREE, disposable cameras to be developed. And how long was he actually out of the house?

40 hours.

Shop 'til you.....

....lose the will to live?

Did I tell you I was on a diet? Yes, of course I did. I try not to go on about it too much, but it has been mentioned. Well my diet has gone pretty well, considering, and I have lost around 32 lbs (14.5kg) and gone down 2 dress sizes.

Six weeks ago I had a clear out and sent a load of clothes that were too big to char-i-dee. Well, I must have shrunk a bit more because loads of clothes are too big for me again so I have cleared out 2 bin-bags more, including 13 skirts.

Now, I can go to work dressed like a tramp if I want (and usually do) but occasionally I have to dress up when clients are involved.

I have managed to replace my black smart trousers with some that fit like a dream in really great fabric that doesn't crease and hangs beautifully. But can I bollocks to buggery find a nice black skirt. It's doing my head in and any man that thinks a woman actually likes shopping at times like these wants his bumps feeling.

Oh there are black skirts out there, but they are horrible. There are pin-stripe and self-stripe, skirts that don't cover your knickers or chop your legs off at mid-calf length. There are skirts made of material that smells very chemically and weird, and some made of material that sets your teeth on edge when you touch them. There are tweed skirts so thick that they could stand up on there own, and so scratchy you could wear them to do penance.

I don't think I'm being extra fussy but I just want a plain black skirt, made of nice crease-proof material, must be lined and about an inch above the knee.

That's all. Nothing special.

Chinigans

Now, I know this simply will not translate to black and white, because it was one of those occasions when you had to be there, but..........

I live in a small village, which is very near a small market town - the sort of place where everyone knows everyone else - and I went out with some girl friends on Saturday night.

One of them is having husband troubles and they are currently living apart, but trying to sort things out, meeting up, going out together etc etc. Anyway, this friend L, went to a birthday party with her husband J on Friday night. L was driving, and one of them ended up offering this other 'couple' (its an on/off relationship - but they are well suited) a lift home (who coincidentally live next door to another of the girls we were out with)

Now this 'couple' are well weird anyway - but not in a cute or amusing way - and what happened only served to prove the point.

They arrived at G's house, and popped in for coffee - like you do. G's girlfriend was saying 'put Chinigans on', and, in all fairness, apparently G was saying something to the effect that no-one would want to see it. But she nagged him into submission and he put this video on.

Now, the funny bit for me is L's face as she is telling me this story. And you have to picture some nice, pretty lady's face with a mixture of horror and incredulity on it, as she said (with actions)

'.....and it was this video of them sticking spots on their chins and singing stupid songs in stupid voices, but you could only see them from the mouth down, and G's girlfriend was peeing herself laughing and I couldn't believe my eyes, so I stuck it for a few minutes and then I said "you do realise I am completely sober and in the morning you will be really embarrassed that we have seen this, or at least you should be" and then I looked over at J who was looking a bit frightened by the whole thing so we left - quickly'

Well, I laughed and laughed so much I nearly wet myself. And L laughed and laughed too, and given her recent problems, and mine, it was simply the best thing that could happen.

And the added bonus? I'll never be able to look at these two any more without remembering and laughing again.

Yum, yum

I went out for dinner last night, it was delicious, I really enjoyed it, it was just what I needed.

And now for something completely different

On Saturday I agreed to take the kids to the 'not-in-the-least-bit-convenient' out of town shopping centre (White Rose in Leeds, in case you're that interested).

As usual we got ready at our normal snappy pace (took 3 of us 2 hours to get dressed) with Theo and I beating Ysabella by a good 10 minutes.

There we were in the kitchen, waiting and shouting, like you do, well like we do anyway, when she eventually thudded downstairs and came into the kitchen to be greeted by both her parents and her older brother totally stunned into silence, which is some achievement in our house.

She had boobs. She didn't have them 2 hours before and now she had a fair sized pair of knockers. For some reason she had decided to pad her 'bra' with loo roll. While Jonathan and Theo eventaully burst out laughing I felt quite sad. She's only 9, where does she get her strange ideas from?

Of course she denied, denied, denied that there was any padding, so I had a quiet word and said the loo roll would rub and make her sore, that she had the perfect figure for her age without enhancements, and tried to get the paedophile message across too. In the end, it was only when she put her coat on that I pointed out that we could no longer see her tits, so there wasn't much point really, that she took the padding out, without ever admitting that there was any in there!

My baby's growing up before her time.

A step in the right direction

We went to see the lawyer today. We told him the history of poor Theo's crap year and gave him the Acceptable Behaviour Contract (unsigned) and this (total joke of a) letter that was given directly to Theo.

He was kind of horrified at what had happened and agreed (with me) that the first step is to get the council/police to list the incidents, and the dates they happened, that have resulted in this Acceptable Behaviour Contract being brought, unannounced, to us the other week.

So we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. Hopefully we'll get a list of incidents and then we can see what Theo has and hasn't been involved in and take it from there.

Jonathan hasn't gone on and on and on about it tonight, which is a good thing, so lets hope the tension eases a bit now.

Quiet as a mouse

No blogs for these last few days. Feeling a bit fed up about all this Theo/police/council thing, but off to the lawyers tomorrow in the hope that we can find out what the hell is happening and why.

All this has made me very quiet (was that a big cheer from my friends?) and, more to the point, spend a lot.

Jonathan is desperate to get this sorted out and one of the main reasons is cos he says we can't afford for me to spend at the rate I have been doing these last few weeks - hell, just realised it isn't even 2 weeks feels like its be going on for ages and ages.

I've kept all the receipts - I might take everything back by the weekend, but there again..........

Christmas gift ideas #1

With only 50 shopping days to go, take a look at the marvellous Wing Tunes site where I'm sure you can pick up something memorable for a loved one this Christmas.

Bring it on

Despite Jonathan getting a bit (?) over excited and emotional, I have managed to calm him down, and, I'm well prepared to tackle the man from the council about the Acceptable Behaviour Contract they tried to get us to sign last week for Theo.

We have had no contact from the police or any other official body that would make us expect anyone to have any reason to deliver this to our door. In fact we had never even heard of one until last Thursday morning.

The fact that the only things they seem to throw at us are crap (eg 'your son has been camping out in a friend's garden and wandering round the village all night' 'Er, no!' 'Well we think he's been sneaking out during the night' ' Er, no, he doesn't go to bed until late and then there's no waking him up, plus the fact that I have rather bad insomnia which means I don't get to sleep until 4ish every night means I would notice if he was moving around')

Anyway, they're talking crap and I want written proof. Let's see what happens.............

Fairy 48 Twinkletoes

It was (48) Jonathan's birthday on Saturday, and I think it would be very un48 if I were to tell how old he is because he i48s very sensitive about his age. Anyway.......our local had a Halloween Disco - all 48 welcome, fancy dress optional.

Fancy dress optional? My arse! I 48 have a fairy dress and I like to use it, particularly in public.

So, Jonathan set off to the pub be48 me, I had a shower and for a zillionth of a second tried to decide what to wear - oh yes, my fairy dress.

I minced through the 48 village, alone, in acres of pink netting, tiara, wings and wand in place. I was so happy, I wish I could wear it forever. I'm sure I really looked the part too, seeing as how I am 46 (still, its younger than Jona48an) and, despite my successful dieting, I am still overweight.

A veritable vision of loveliness for the dogwalkers and drivers that were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of ethereal, shimmering me as I floated into the Queens Head.

Still mad

I will tell you what has happened that has made me so angry, but I need to get a meeting out of the way on Wednesday, that will hopefully clarify things.

But I still think they're wankers.